Hi Mark,
I think this is definitely a personal choice and how you feel about the many different possible outcomes.
Rob always wanted surgery, even when he thought it was in his bone. Many argued why would you want double side effects of RARP and then RT (if and when) it was needed, but he was ok to take that risk. Of course we were hoping for a miracle that RT wouldn’t be needed and all the cancer would be gone (obviously not the case). We were also fortunate that Rob really dealt with the op well and continence was pretty great. He does suffer ED but we completely prepared ourselves for that and I find the ED easier to live with than the way HT changes him.
I suppose now he needs the RT and on HT for 2 years we may have regrets but I can honestly say we don’t have a single one. He’s had a really great 18 months imagining he was cured too….so a bonus! I also think we’re better prepared to deal with the RT and HT so I feel more positive about the treatment. (I never assumed he was cured).
This is purely just our feeling and experience and I know some men really struggle after RARP and would certainly not agree with the path we took.
I would prepare for all the side effects of both scenarios and try to see which you could manage better.
Hope this helps and good luck
Elaine