Just read through your thread. I'm a bit shocked at how unhelpful your onco has been. I went through 7 different oncos at Weston Park and whilst one or two seemed to be in a rush, the others always found the time to talk and answer questions or alay fears. It's an important part of what they do and it's certainly made a big difference to my journey through cancer. Do you have specialist nurses at the hospital who are available to you? - I found them almost as knowledgeable as the oncos, and much easier to contact.
As for the kidney stones - back in the old days they used to present them to you later and you could keep them as some sort of weird souvenir. But the pain and suffering I am told is unbelievable - you have to experience it yourself to have any idea what it's like. A friend had the procedure where they stick the endoscope in the very last place a guy would wish it. Various guys who'd been through the procedure assured him it wasn't anything like as painful as he feared.
The day after he came back to work in a state of shock. The pain had been extreme to say the least, "if there'd been a gun around I'd have shot myself" he commented. Fortunately he didn't.
You deserve a medal for bravery after going through all that, and a much kinder oncologist. I hope your kidney problems clear up without further issue.