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15 years on (continued)

User
Posted 02 Jul 2014 at 22:48
Hi TG,

Makes sense to have everything in order and for your wishes to be known. Having done that, I feel you will not dwell on it but make the most of your time as per your signing off line.

Barbara and I hope that you enjoy your forthcoming visit to Dublin and whatever else you and Karen decide you would like to do.

Barry
User
Posted 03 Jul 2014 at 02:44

Barry, all I can say is what a good and caring GP you have. You may recall in one of my posts towards the end of Mick's fight I mentioned his very long and difficult chat with the palliative care consultant at the hospice. This included the treatments Mick was prepared to have towards the end game and those he did not want. It also covered where he wanted to be. I sat with him through the whole discussion so that I was a) aware of his preferences and b) could help if difficult decisions had to be made. It was extremely hard for me trying to hold back on emotions that had been held inside for such a long time. Having said that it was an experience that Mick said he found very helpful he said it made him feel at peace with himself and gave him confidence that his wishes would all be respected. The most difficult part is probably deciding when and if you want to have that discussion. It is not the start of the end by any means at all but I think you would agree it is far better to plan and give yourself total control.

You also have to remember though that Mick was unable to do many things following his spinal cord compression, you still have the ability to do many things, setting your goals and targets is a vital part of all this. Listen to your body and if lying in your hammock in the sunshine is as much as you want to do so be it.

You have shown how brave you are countless times so I am sure that the challenges ahead hold no fear for you. If anyone can defy the odds you can, especially with Karen and your wonderful family there to support you.

I think of you all every single day you know how much we all love and respect you so make sure you rest mentally as well as physically so that you can enjoy your trip to Dublin with Karen.

xxxx

Mo

User
Posted 04 Jul 2014 at 12:03
Hi, Veronica here - can't sign into the forum under my own name at present.

Mo. What a beautiful post. It shows the depth of your loving and caring nature and also speaks volumes for all of us on how we feel about Barry.❤️

Barry. I'm so pleased to hear that your GP has discussed the 'end game' with you; what an excellent GP you must have.

I personally think discussions like this can be very helpful, and dare I say positive. We have always been open and honest about these things for many years and we know in principle what each would wish when the time comes. It, as others have said, sorts things out and puts the mind to rest so it doesn't have to dwell on things and therefore allows us to get on with what we are here for. As you so rightly say 'life is for living' and that is what we should do.

So dear Barry, embrace and enjoy the quiet restful times in order that you can continue to also fill your life with the things you and Karen enjoy so much.

I don't have to say enjoy your trip to Dublin cos I know you will. 😉

Trust that you and Karen are never far from both Kim and my thoughts and that we wish you all the very best and hope that you can continue to defy the odds for a fair good time to come. We know you'll give it your utmost efforts. 😌

Take care and very best wishes to you both.

Veronica and of course Kim

User
Posted 04 Jul 2014 at 16:13

Barry - I've not been on for some time as it took me weeks to access the new set-up and finding my way around. Needless to say I am deeply moved by recent postings from Karen and yourself convincing me that you each are true 'Bravehearts' yet remain the same Top-Gun as ever.

Much like Brian2, my periodic visits help sustain me in my personal battle with this pestersome lodger but I feel a bit of a fraud in comparison to your situation. I am now into my tenth year, still on HT with six monthly checks on a slowly rising PSA and getting regular reminders that the lodger is intent on seeing me off. Eviction notices just seem to be ignored!!

Along with all your supportive team I want to be included in every good wish and prayer for some improvement and relief from the pain you have been coping with so you can get on with LIVING.

I was not in Leicester but did think about the whole group. Last weekend I was in Scarborough again for Armed Forces Day and what a fitting celebration the whole programme of events became; in favourable weather too. I joined an ex-shipmate in the veterans march at the close and I was near to it! It tested me but I enjoyed completing, it was a boost of confidence. It was a different story on Sunday after Joyce had to take over the driving when cramps set in both legs and walking was difficult until Tuesday.

User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 07:46
Hi all (especially John B who we, co-incidentally met in Cyprus )

A bad day yesterday, in a lot of pain right across my groin spreading down my left leg and as usual in my bum. My temperature rising to 38.8. and a complete blockage both bowels and urine. Felt really out of it. On call doctor was phoned who diagnosed a urine infection, Karen picked up some antibiotics ( more blo*dy tablets ).

Finally managed to have a wee after inserting 2 catheters and this morning my temperature is normal at 36.6. I hope to be seeing my Gurkha friend at Andover this afternoon, will let Karen drive whilst I will lie down in back. That will be the last of any travelling until Monday week when we go to Dublin .

Troublesome days but it is a case of keeping on going because...

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington )

User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 09:27
Barry, I hope the antibiotics work quickly, the infections can be so debilitating. And after today's trip out hope your weather is warm enough to rest in the hammock. Love to you both, Janet
User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 09:36

Hi Barry,

I was getting a little concerned when you hadn't posted for a few days, lets hope the Aunty Bs start working quickly for you. Trevor is also on them for a chest infection along with the good old steroids and yes he said the same , more bl*dy tablets.

Take it easy this afternoon. Not to much chatting.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif

Lots of love

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 10:59

Hi Barry,

 

Good to see your post this morning, but sorry to hear you've been through more pain.

I hope those antibiotics are strong ones. Yes, it's hammock time for you, so let the sun shine on the righteous of Dorset.

It's a murky, dull and damp day up here in the grim North East.

That's a sure sign that the Sunderland Air Show must be about due to hit us.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif

 

Rest up and take it easy.

 

Love from us all to Karen too,

 

 

George, Lynn & Kat

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User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 13:00
Hope the antibiotics kick in Barry, you can do without the infections on top of everything else. Recuperate well, rest up and then you can enjoy Dublin. Thinking of you!
User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 13:34
Hi Barry

sorry to hear about your pain and infection but as always you never give up hope you and Karen have a good day keep resting for your trip to Dublin.

Best Wishes to you both.

Carol Eric

User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 22:35
Not been on for a few days Barry as we have visitors from foreign parts eating and drinking us out of house and home plus numerous excursions to go on. Loving it really, talking a huge leaf out of your book and just getting on with living.

However, that doesn't mean that you are far from our thoughts and let's see off that blasted infection, come on me old china, you can do it.

There's hammocks to be resting on and Ghurkas to be seen.

Big love

Allison xxx

Edited by member 06 Jul 2014 at 22:36  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 06 Jul 2014 at 23:08
Hope all went well with your Ghurka friend TG. Make sure you are rested now though, there's a few jars of the black stuff with your name on them

Bri

User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 09:43
Well the fight goes on and what a fight it is becoming. Total blockage on the urine front leading to severe pain in chest right side just below rib cage. The pain really was severe and I cancelled seeing my Gurkha friend and he fully understood. At about 6pm the pain was such that we had to call the on call doctor (weekend). He was very good and inserted a catheter with bag and nearly 2 Ltrs came pouring out. The pain slowly subsided and after a very disturbed night during which Karen, bless her, reached over to see if I was still in the land of the living I am in fact still here to tell the tale. I am going to my own surgery later this morning although my own GP is on holiday. We will have to discuss this catheter business and if I have the chance I would like to go back into the Hospice. Being a realist I can't see us making Dublin but I'm not cancelling it yet, perhaps I will have to set daily targets........after all....

Life is for living.....each and every day

Barry (alias Barrington )

User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 11:30
Barry, I am so sorry to hear about this.

A blockage like that leads to the most terrible pain.

Anyone of us who have had that will know the absolute agony you suffered.

Stay strong me old mate and yes, set daily targets, the main one being 'to have a better day tomorrow'.

Thinking of you all the time,

Love to Karen from us,

George, Lynn & Kat

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User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 18:39
Sorry to read Barry, but I agree the hospice is probably the best place to get comfortable, rested and the pain under control. And Dublin can be sorted nearer the time, no need to worry now or put yourself under pressure, just take a day at a time, love to you both , Janet
User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 18:49
Hi once again,

Back into the Hospice tomorrow morning and I am really pleased as it will give Karen a well deserved break and you never know they might have another stab at getting the pain control right.

User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 19:51
Good luck Barry. I know what a pain a full bladder can bring. When my catheter breached they had to pump water into my bladder until it nearly burst before clearing the tube. To have that for some hours must be so excrutiating. hospice will sort that then you can enjoy the five star treatment there. One day at a time! Good luck, Barry and you are right Karen will get a break!
User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 19:57
Sounds like the right decision Barry. Hopefully they will sort it pronto. I still believe there's some black stuff with your name on it but as you say take each day as it comes and keep achieving those daily targets

Bri

User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 20:44
Good decision Barry the. pain gets unbareable sometimes as I know with Eric but that will be the first thing that hospice will deal with .

Please take care your body is telling you it needs a.wee rest,you have done yourself proud with all your goals that you have set and completed with Karen.

Take each day as it comes but please rest before Dublin

Best Wishes to you and Karen

Carol Eric

User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 21:21

Suprapubic catheter ?

Bypasses the plumbing & potential blockages.

User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 22:12
Best of luck TG with the treatment. The hospice sounds the right place for now and the home of Guinness awaits....
Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 07 Jul 2014 at 23:14

The Hospice is the best place to get you sorted and back on your feet Barry, plus I have heard on the grapevine that they have a 5 star menu.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif

Thinking of you and Karen X

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 08 Jul 2014 at 11:01
Well I am at the Hospice having been driven there by No1 so who left home at 5am to take some of the stress away from her which is very kind of him and as us Military types knows goes beyond the call of duty...it's taken over 30 minutes to post this due to a a befuddled mind (more morphine matron) so I will hand over to my son.....

Ok, dad is settled in, filled out a few forms, the chap opposite make dad look fighting fit. Joking aside he isn't well. Karen getting down here later. I was a bit worried when the nursed asked if we liked faggots, then realised she was talking about lunch!!!

No 1 son. Will keep you posted.

User
Posted 08 Jul 2014 at 11:15
Hi Barry and James,

It's great to know that everything is sorted at the hospice, I hope they can the pain relief organised and delivered a.s.a.p.

James, what exactly were you and your dad wearing when you arrived there? (I know how fond Barry is of fancy dress}.

Something must have been odd if you were asked the f***** question!

Get some rest Barry, and then let us hear some good updates.

All the very best,

George, Lynn & Kat

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User
Posted 08 Jul 2014 at 15:24

Barry glad that you arrived safe and sound, it sounds as if you arrived in style thanks to No 1 son James.  Now you are there lets hope things can be sorted quickly for you.

Not really sure about the f***** comment was you wearing your waistcoat? or perhaps Heston Bluementhol is cooking lunch.

Much love as usual.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 08 Jul 2014 at 16:17
Barry and James

It is good to know that you got to the hospice safely, thanks to James, and you are now settling in. So pleased to hear that the pain control has started – even if you are a little befuddled at the moment.

As George has already said, we need to hear some good updates now to show that you are comfortable.

Best wishes

Alan and Celia

User
Posted 08 Jul 2014 at 18:41
Thanks for the update TG/James. Hopefully they will get the treatment sorted and you will be able to start posting again very soon

Take care

Bri

User
Posted 08 Jul 2014 at 19:13
Every day i think of you all, the hospice seems to know just what you need and how to get you stable. I think the 5 star menu really helps. The grounds are lovely too so you can find a nice spot and have a siesta. Charge your triple As and keep Dublin in your sight. If they offer you relaxation therapy take it, Mick always stuck his nose in the air at manicures,pedicures and massages called the Steiner salon on the ships Frankensteiners. However he really enjoyed all 3 in the hospice. # 1 son has come up trumps again xxxx

Mandy Mo

User
Posted 09 Jul 2014 at 13:35

Hi Barry,

Just catching up on posts, so sorry to hear the pain is back i really hope the hospice get it all under control.

Must say after seeing the pictures i would never have bloody left, just move in the hammock and beer fridge sorted http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-sealed.gif

All our love and prays to you all

Si x

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict
User
Posted 09 Jul 2014 at 19:02
What a strange day, I keep hallucinating and this is quite bewildering even as I write this now I am writing pure rubbifish and actually wrote whether word Vikings instead of something else.

This is now Karen taking the iPad off Barry and finishing his post. He is very confused and keeps falling asleep which may be the infection, the cancer or the drugs but I am now making him say goodnight to you all and closing down for the night. If he starts up again and writes gibberish this is why but says he intends to be back refreshed soon and to remind you all that Life is for living. Night night x

User
Posted 09 Jul 2014 at 19:39

Hi Barry and Karen. Just to say love to you both,

 

Fiona.

User
Posted 09 Jul 2014 at 21:02
Thanks Karen for finishing Barry's post. Hopefully some rest will help. Nothing can be said to make this any easier, but you know I am thinking of you both and hope you can get some rest and tomorrow Barry might be more coherent, though we might not realise it!! Hugs and best wishes! Paul
User
Posted 09 Jul 2014 at 22:08
Hi Barry Karen

It will be the drugs hope when you get home they wont give you such heavy duty ones as all you will do is sleep like Eric does and he hates feeling this way.but knowing you Barry you will not let this happen as you always say life is for living and

boy you have not let yourself down on that one.

Best wishes to you both

Carol Eric

User
Posted 09 Jul 2014 at 23:20
Just to say love to you both, Janet
User
Posted 10 Jul 2014 at 09:05
Hi. Gang,

Writing this at 08.46 so you can see how long it takes me to write this. Had a sound nights sleep and woke feeling almost of sound mind, can't remember much about yesterday. Urine bag full to the seams, just as well I woke when I did. Breakfast has just arrived so I had best sign off, strange my iPad feels very spongy.

Time now 09.03 so 17 minutes to write this.

Life is for living

Barry ( alias Barrington )

Back from breakfast ( I only wanted cornflakes) I won't bore with any more today I think just sleeping will do me the power of good and talking about power I will leave it up to the powers in here to work out which medication is doing me good relating to pain issues and which are causing mental issues.....No sarcastic replies required

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington )

Edited by member 10 Jul 2014 at 09:39  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 Jul 2014 at 10:54
Good to see your post on here this morning Barry.

Sleep is GOOD, rest up and get stronger.

Your mental prowess continues to surpass mine too. I wish I could type a message as quickly as you.

I'm in a permanent fog, and that's without morphine. : )~

Love from all of us in Jarrow,,

Stay crazy me old mate,

Warmest wishes always,

'The Fog On The Tyne'.

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User
Posted 10 Jul 2014 at 19:21
Barry some of the opiate drugs combined with steroids can have odd mental side effects and there are many different combinations and individual responses. It may take a while to find a combination and dose level that keeps you relatively pain free and still able to function normally.

Mick could not take mst it made him very irrational he got switched to fentanyl patches.

You amaze me that you even have the inclination to post

Get as much sleep as you canand encourage Karen to nap with you xxx

Mandy Mo

User
Posted 10 Jul 2014 at 22:42

Dear Barry

I have been a long time admirer of yours and , although you have only given us brief accounts

of your life history I can see that you are a true warrior through and through as you show all the

traits of a soldier , or should I say British soldier , the best in the world, with your courage and

sense of humour under relentless , painful conditions.

I have had a couple of pints, which I am sure you will not begrudge and I would like to express

the gratitude that the public feel towards you and your comrades for defending us so magnificently

over the years. It is a poem by Kipling entitled, quite appropriately 'Tommy' and it illustrates how

little our forces are appreciated until the guns begin to fire. I know that you will completely understand

the sentiments of this piece and be aware of how highly you are thought of. The message is still

the same today as it was when this was written

Love

Ray and Beryl

 

TOMMY

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,

The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."

The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,

I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:

   O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";

   But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,

   The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,

   O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

 

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,

They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;

They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,

But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!

   For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";

   But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,

   The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,

   O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

 

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep

Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;

An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit

Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.

   Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"

   But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,

   The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,

   O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

 

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,

But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;

An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,

Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;

   While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",

   But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,

   There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,

   O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

 

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:

We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.

Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face

The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.

   For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"

   But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;

   An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;

   An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

 

 

User
Posted 11 Jul 2014 at 09:59
Hi Roly,

Thank you for your kind thoughts but believe me I am no hero. Having served 31 years in the Army I have of course been put in some awkward situations but none more so than any other person. Right now we all have our own fight to deal with and deal with it we will.

Hi Mo,

Thank you as well, you are quite right, these devilish opiares play havoc with your mind.

Take care all

Life is for living

Barry ( alias Barrington )

Edited by member 11 Jul 2014 at 10:00  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 11 Jul 2014 at 11:50
Goood morning Barry!

You seem much brighter and sharper today.

The saying is true..'You can't keep a good man down'.

Looking forward to your next update.

All the very best from us all, and Love to Karen too,

George, Lynn and Kat.

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User
Posted 11 Jul 2014 at 19:38

Hi Barry,

I am so glad those pesky Viking's are back in the box and you are fighting forward as usual. I have said this before and I will probably say it again you are SHMAZING.

Love to both you and Karen.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 11 Jul 2014 at 23:21
Hi Barry

I haven't been around for a while given the Swedish visitors, new carpets coming and decorating to do plus I found some concrete fake sleepers going cheap and decided to make myself a new hard standing with them. Crazy woman, I should go back to work!

I have been following Karen on Facebook so knew you were poorly and in the hospice. I am pleased that some improvements seem to be happening, thanks to the hospice staff. Keep,getting better my friend, we miss you and Dublin is getting nearer.

Big love

Allison xxxx

User
Posted 13 Jul 2014 at 19:11
Hi all

Been down today and seen dad, Top Gun as you know him, at the hospice. He isn't well but still fighting and wishes you all well

James.

No one son

User
Posted 13 Jul 2014 at 19:28
Hi James

noticed that your Dad hadn't been posting lately was wondering how he was please give him our best wishes .

Carol Eric

User
Posted 13 Jul 2014 at 19:35
James

Thank you for thinking about us on here.

We are all thinking about all of you.

Your dad is a fighter and an inspiration although he will never admit to it. C'mon Barry keep kicking its axse

Bri

User
Posted 13 Jul 2014 at 22:25
Thank you, James, for letting us know, love to you all, Janet
User
Posted 13 Jul 2014 at 22:49

Thank you James for keeping us informed, forward on our love and best wishes please.

 

Chris and Shirley

User
Posted 14 Jul 2014 at 08:07
Think ing of your Dad

Barry

User
Posted 14 Jul 2014 at 09:16

Thanks, James. Your Dad and family will certainly be in my thoughts today,

 

Love, Fiona.

User
Posted 14 Jul 2014 at 11:52
James you are all in my thoughts every day if your dad is not up to a proxy hug from me via you then please give karen one and give dad a virtual hug (xxxx) from me

Xx Mo

 
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