15 years on (continued)

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 01:34

I feel in my heart TG that your storms are also past and you are moving towards that phase of calm and peace. Hopefully, any pain is now well under control. My heart aches for you, for Karen and all the family but also selfishly for myself. You told Ben 'May your days be filled with sunshine' - Karen is your sunshine and she reflects your light as you reflect hers. Shine bright my friend because you know I don't like the dark xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard

Edited by member 09 Aug 2014 at 02:09 | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 09:14

Lynn

Perfectly expresses the feelings of many here. Karen and Barry remain in our hearts and thoughts at this difficult time.

I wish I could say more, but am unable to express my sentiments at the moment. All I can do is to pass on my dearest love to you both and hope that peace and love surround you my dear friends.

With love

Allison and John xxx

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 13:11

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

After terrible storms here in Leeds earlier this evening, it is now a very beautiful peaceful night. It reminded me of our old friend Ben's thread - do you remember? "The moon reflects a greater light not its own" - such a comforting thought and yet it was heartbreaking to read because we knew that he would not be with us for very much longer.

I feel in my heart TG that your storms are also past and you are moving towards that phase of calm and peace. Hopefully, any pain is now well under control. My heart aches for you, for Karen and all the family but also selfishly for myself. You told Ben 'May your days be filled with sunshine' - Karen is your sunshine and she reflects your light as you reflect hers. Shine bright my friend because you know I don't like the dark xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard

Thank you Lyn. Beautifully said

I haven't known you for long Barry but I think of you often and will you to fight off this last affliction.

I can't think of anything else to say that Lyn hasn't expressed so my usual heartfelt "Best Wishes" to both of you.

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 13:40

Beautiful words Lyn. Bizarre as well as I laid in bed this morning I thought about Ben looking at the sun shining over the mountains

I so hope you are pain free this morning Barry x

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 18:26

Hello all, this is Karen. Barry has been in a very befuddled state and we are both very tired but thank you for your prayers and good wishes xx

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 18:43

Adding my love and thoughts to you both. xx

Fiona.

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 18:43

Thinking of you both, day in day out.

You're in out hearts, thoughts and prayers

Warm hugs from Lynn and George

xxx

B2PCa

User

Posted 09 Aug 2014 at 20:57

I don't know you, but have read all your posts from the very beginning, and they have helped

me face up to the fact that my husband Pete has advanced prostate cancer, but that fighting

this "THING" is what you have always done, and we all will carry on the fight.

Our thoughts and love are with you and Karen all the time

Thank you for all you have given us.

Jenny Eckersley

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 16:21

Hello to all my lovely friends,

The time has come to let you know that this is, in all probability, my final e-mail as I feel the game is up. I have fought the good fight, and had 15 years of this. I wanted to go home from the hospice but accept I can no longer move around at all and much of the time I am no longer lucid. Karen remains with me and I have seen family today including Chris and Laura. James and Jacqui are coming tomorrow.

Thank you for your continuing support and I wish you all a strong fight that will see you through the coming years

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington)

Edited by member 10 Aug 2014 at 20:00 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 17:05

What a wonderful, sad but typical email, Barry. We all know you are on your final journey and you have undertaken it with dignity, bravery, grit and humour. Whatever the next few days bring, I hope that you are in comfort, with your beloved Karen and your great family. You are an inspiration to us all. I wish Karen and family much strength during these difficult times.

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 17:41

Bless you Barry........and for what it's worth, you are one hell of a guy.

Funnily enough the band playing at our local last night was called 'Top Guns'

and I was thinking of you .

Lots of love

Ray and Beryl

Edited by member 10 Aug 2014 at 17:43 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 18:00

I'm some what lost for words Barry. I am in awe of your courage and fortitude.

As Paul has said you are an inspiration too so many and will continue to be.

I so hope you get home tomorrow old lad :)

Send all my love to you, Karen and family

Bri x

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 18:06

Dear Barry,

I salute you.

I can't express my feelings, too emotional, but I do salute a guy I am privileged to have known as a friend for many years.

We've shared a lot of fun and some very sad times too over those years, and you never ceased to lift me - and all those you met.

We think the world of you and Karen.

Take it easy,

George and Lynn

B2PCa

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 18:46

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Hello to all my lovely friends,

The time has come to let you know that this is, in all probability, my final e-mail as I feel the game is up. I have fought the good fight, and had 15 good years out of this. I hope to discharge myself home from the hospice tomorrow if a hospital bed can be put in place. I can no longer move around at all and am much of the time no longer lucid.

Thank you for your continuing support and I wish you all a strong fight that will see you through the coming years

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington)

Dear Barry and Karen

I sat here reading your final post with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart.

This for a man I have never met and who, to all intents and purposes is a complete "stranger" to me.

But you aren't Barry and Karen. You greeted me when I arrived.

Your story and fight has supported me as I, in turn, support my husband.

I knew that this time had to come, you intimated it yourself, but now that it is here it is hard to say goodbye.

God Bless you both.

Love Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 18:58

What a legacy you are leaving. You have touched so many hearts. God bless. Have a good journey.xxx

Max

"You can only play the hand you're dealt"

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 19:23

Barry,

We have met only a few times at gatherings but I have known you over recent years through the Message Board. In all that time whatever you have done you have shown tremendous determination, tenacity, humour, knowledge and support for others. These qualities have continued through the last very difficult months when your courage has been a real inspiration to many of us. I think all of this is reflected in your last email.

Our thoughts are with you, Karen and your family.

Alan and Celia

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 20:18

Sorry but I will be sending one more message tomorrow when my children arrive and I can explain everything to them with Karen's help. I am far from lucid most of the time so I will need Karen's help. Love to you all. Night night. Always remember that life is for living Barry(Barrington)

Edited by member 10 Aug 2014 at 20:21 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 20:19

Dear Barry and Karen,

What to say ,it is so difficult to express my feelings , when I first joined the forum I had no idea how deeply involved I would become in the lives of strangers. Looking back it was all about my family and our own tragedy. Gradually through replies and getting to understand that everyone on here has a story to tell.

Barry what a story yours is, you have never failed to give support and wise wise words and we have had the odd giggle. Barry I cannot begin to tell you how much I respect you. I am so hoping that you get your wish to go home and be with Karen.

At the start of this email I didn't know what to say , now I do, after all there is only one thing to say "Life is for living "

Love to you both

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 20:32

Dear Barry

It is a privilege to know you. This is a cruel and evil disease but you have borne it well and never given in. Life truly is for living and you have lived it well.

I salute you sir

Nil desperandum

Allister

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 21:02

Hi Barry and Karen, we are all so gutted that after keeping the beast at bay for 15 years (an amazing achievement in itself) that your rocky road has come to this. We can only say it was an absolute pleasure to meet you both, albeit briefly at the MOS,and you were exactly as we had imagined you to be. Thank you from the bottom of this family's heart for all your kindness and support, especially in those early dark days of diagnosis. You are an inspiration to Si to keep going, keep fighting, and to always remember that life is for living, so he bloody well will whilst he can, and for as long as he can, just like you. Top Gun you are the man, our deepest love to you, Karen and your family. We are so sorry it wasn't possible for us to see you whilst we were staying down near London,but you have been in our thoughts constantly. X x x

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 22:12

All

Thanks for all your kind words. Karen and dad very much appreciate it.

Will update the post once I've seen him tomorrow. Take care.

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 22:34

Barry sir

You are an inspiration and a wonderful person.

I wish you and Karen much peace and love at this time.

Chris

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 22:41

Dearest Barry

It is with heavy hearts that we have just read your latest posts. Although we never got to any of the bashes to meet you in person, it does feel like you are an old friend and words are hard to come by at this present time.

You have always been a fighter and we know you never gave in to this incidous disease. It's is we suppose why we find it so surreal to be reading posts like this now. Thank you for all your support, even when you've been ill and hurting yourself. You are one remarkable man.

Our thoughts and prays are with you and Karen and of course your family.

With love

Veronica and Kim

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 22:47

Barry

There is no one quite like you my friend, it has been an honour to know you, to read your funny posts, your serious posts, your welcoming posts, to see your lovely photos of Tommy Bear on his travels and to meet you, chat with you and to have been able to be a part of your life through this difficult time. I genuinely have never met anyone like you and I also salute you, you brave, brave man.

And to Karen, what a wonderful woman, a fantastic, loving wife, a huge support and showing such an air of calm, I know you are so proud of her. And your dear children, you are equally proud of them, and rightly so.

Barry, thank you for sharing your story, back along you wrote of some of your escapades, you have truly lived up to your strap line "Life is for Living". You are a very special man.

I don't want to say goodbye, but if I must, then thank you Barry, for being a friend to so many.

With love from John and Allison xxxxx

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 22:53

Barry,

Our thoughts and prayers to you and all the family, your fight has been a long one, and your courage has been well documented, as Veronica says 'you are a remarkable man'.

Here's hoping you have a peaceful night.

Best wishes,

Chris and Shirley.

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 23:07

Barry - you are one remarkable man. Love to you and Karen.

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 10 Aug 2014 at 23:55

Well, you are probably waiting for one last bo**ocking from me and I would hate to let you down now. The game is never up, don't ever think you lost the war. You might have lost a battle here and there but you out-manoeuvred the enemy time and time again and left him battered and bruised. You won the war, because you did everything on your own terms and in your own way. And even now when it seems that there is no more fighting to be done, you are still the winner because you never surrendered.

Fly free, my lovely friend x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 00:10

Barry you are in my thoughts andj prayers tonight have a restful night. I can't say goodbye to another good man.

I will just say nite nite for now.

Carol

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 09:24

"I Did It My Way" may be an old chestnut,but IMHO its what sums you up Barry,god bless.

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 09:51

Barry, Karen and family, you are in my thoughts today. Not enough thanks to express the support and encouragement your posts have meant and your capacity to reach out to others when you have been so unwell. I, too, offer one last salute ! To an inspirational man !

My love and fond regards, Fiona. x

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 09:52

Barry dear friend,

We have been reading the other comments, so apt and poignant, and hope you had a peaceful night. We hope your onward journey is blessed. HE will be there with you, to carry you on, so there will only be one set of footprint in the sand......

We are going to the "get-together" in London in October, to get to know other volunteers for PCUK, and we are going to try to see the poppies around the Tower, to pay tribute to all the men and women who lost their lives fighting , and to remember that there are an awful lot of people since the first World War who have lost the battle for life. We have "bought" a poppy, and I will be putting your name added to the others for battling in many different ways of fighting, both as Top-Gun and for helping others in their own battle for life.

Remember the wonderful story of two sets of footprints on our journey through life, until only one set is seen at times, and that is when Jesus carries us in the difficult times....

God Bless you Barry, and we remember too the fun times. The "Boobies" you had a cuddle at Leicester..... Karen forgive me!!!

With love from us both, Shirley xxxxxxxxx

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 15:44

Barry you are an amazing man indeed an elevated life form, forever helping those within and even without your reach. You have touched the hearts of so many people that your own final journey should be one with the names and faces of all those who love you and the presence of the many you have already lost, guiding you and comforting you to a place of wonderful serenity.

I hate to say goodbye so prefer to do the French thing and say a bientot... until the next time.

Mick would scowl at me as I weep for you now.

Safe journey lovely man and biggest hugs to you and all your family

Xxx Mandy Mo

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 15:46

Hi guys

This is James typing this post, because if I did it would take me ages as I get confused with this keypad.

Hard decisions have been made and all my family have visited in the last 24 hours, and understand that I will no longer be taking curative medication as my liver bloods continue to rise, and basically they are not working and total liver failure is immanent.........60 to 1550. I am at times loosing lucidity and going into strange worlds. I will still be taking palliative medication for any pain I get. I will be staying in the hospice as literally I can't get out of bed on my own and need two people at all times. Even were I to get home Karen would need another person there all the time to help with even the simplest of tasks.

As I have previously said, I have enjoyed life to the full and now is the time to let go. Thank you for all your support. I am aware things won't happen over night but this will be my last posting, so there is no need to reply.

For those still fighting your own battles I wish you all the best. God bless you all and truly remember ……

That life is for living Barry (alias Barrington).

Ps any mistakes were made by James!!

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 15:59

Hi Barry (and thank you James for typing).

Au revoir my friend (we WILL meet again!).http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

No fat lady is singing yet, but when she starts, give her a kick on behalf of us all.

I fully understand your position now and know that you've achieved all you needed to on 'That List' - and you've done it with style.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Karen and all your loved ones.

We'll continue our parties in the sky, Barry.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

God bless you.

Thank you for all you have given us,

George, Lynn and Katrina.

B2PCa

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 16:18

Karen and I have logged him off the account.

Should he manage to get back in please take no notice of any posts unless it's typed by Karen or myself as sometimes dad types a post without knowing what he is typing and could be meaningless.

James.

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 17:16

Thank you James, Karen and family for continuing to think of us, as indeed we carry on thinking with Barry in our hearts.

May you all continue with the strength and courage you have shown so far and know that so many on here are with you in thought and spirit.

A hard time for all of you.

Bless you all.

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 17:23

Sending my love. As so many have said you were an inspiration to Mike and I. There are plenty of our menfolk waiting to greet you on the other side, but I am sure willing you to stay here. As spurs ark so eloquently put it a few years back, it is a rocky road and I am very sad you appear to be so near its end. rest well, Judie.

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 18:15

Wishing you a peaceful journey Barry.

You have touched many lives and for the better. It has been a pleasure to meet you and thank you for all your input over the years.

Rob

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 19:14

Barry,Karen and faamily

I have been fortunate to have shared my ten year journey with some great fellow travellers none more so than Top Gun. I want simply to say "Thank you for your encouragement. For being ever willing to consider everyone's concerns about this horrible b-----d complaint.

It has been and will continue to be a privilege to have shared so much. You will remain our Top Gun for some time to come - I'll see to that if need be. You have my heart-felt Royal Naval salute to take with you mate.

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 20:32

We only met briefly Barry but we have enjoyed some lively exchanges on here :-)

You've held an hand out to me, in your own unique way, when I have been down and offered many words of support . I have always valued you as an integral part of my support network and that will continue as your legacy will live on

You now have this time with your loved ones around you and I pray you remain pain free

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Siree old lad

Bri

Edited by member 11 Aug 2014 at 20:48 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 22:37

Gods blessings on your journey, thank you to you and your family for sharing your story and your thoughts with everyone on this forum. It has been an invaluable support to many.. even me who does not post much.

You and your family are in my prayers

Lorraine x

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 23:06

Hope you have pain free journey mate ... thanks for all that you have done for these forums , thinking of all your family at this hard time .

Dave Mack .

User

Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 23:15

Barry Karen and family I honestly haven't the words to help you at this time everything has already been said and what a tribute to a good man.

I remember when you and Eric were having chemo you tried the coldcap Eric.thought great Barry can try it first when I read him your post that you wouldn't take it again that was a no go area for him both of you were so vain.Eric.wanted to meet you all at your next meeting with all the gang .sadly he never made it .but you never know maybe you will meet soon.please have a peaceful night be pain free.

My best wishes to you all at this time.

Carol x

User

Posted 12 Aug 2014 at 00:41

Barry & Family,

Barbara and I are so sorry that your condition worsens. We hope the pain alleviation medication is working well. When the time comes, you will join some of the very special people we have come to know and care about and who will be long remembered with admiration and affection. Rest well my friend.

Barry

User

Posted 12 Aug 2014 at 09:23

Barry and your dear family are on my mind this morning.

I hope a peaceful night has been passed for you all, it's heart rending for everyone concerned.God speed my friend.

With love

Allison xxx

User

Posted 12 Aug 2014 at 17:56

Stand easy TG you gave it your best shot.Diesel x

User

Posted 17 Aug 2014 at 17:03

Hi all, Karen has asked me to just let you all know that they are tootling along. TG has very little appetite now but is using all his persuasive skills to get away with eating puddings and iced drinks, his pain is fairly well-managed and he has been up to having the occasional visitor. Some friends of theirs have created a phenomenal piece of art and donated it to the hospice to be auctioned off .... it seems that even now, our Barrington (with help from the people that love him) is able to make a difference for others who will come after him.

Karen will let us know if there is any change and she and TG know that we are all thinking of them.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 17 Aug 2014 at 17:48

Thanks for passing that on Lyn.

It's comforting news, if that's possible to say in the circumstances.

I'm so glad you posted this.

We're thinking of Barry and Karen constantly.

George, Lynn & Kat

B2PCa

User

Posted 17 Aug 2014 at 18:00

Lyn, many thanks for forwarding the message that TG is still eating his puds !

As George says, he is very much in our thoughts and prayers, forward back to Karen our fondest love for her at this difficult time.

Chris and Shirley xxxx

User

Posted 17 Aug 2014 at 18:38

Thank you Lyn for the update.

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