Hello Elie and welcome.
Paul (and others on here with the same or similar diagnoses) are real inspirations as they show that they have cancer, the cancer doesn't have them.
I read your profile with sadness but also found it comforting to know that your man has you by his side, every step of the way. I am so sorry that your life appears to be very much deja vu , having lost your first husband to cancer.
We are indeed the people to come to for letting off steam, to rant at the unfairness of it all, but also to let you know that you do not stand alone now and even if your other half prefers to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself, you don't have to.
So, welcome and rant away!!