Dads small cell cancer

Hi Paula,

Mo is right, short staffed or not it would be a pretty uncompassionate workplace that didn't realise your Dad is top priority so if you have to ask for time, don't feel inhibited. Work is always there, whereas your precious time with Dad may be short. Look after yourself too as much as you can,

Sending love, Fiona.

thank you yes lots of people have quit due to the big workload and harsh management and complaints have been lodged.They know my circumstances but no one asks after my lovely dad and i have kept them informed.they kept texting last weekend when they were short but we were helping dad get his last heavy jobs completed.I guess no one knows how hard the cancer journey is until they ve watched loved ones go through it.
Dont get me wrong work can be a welcome distraction but getting home at midnight is tiring when im 48 ha ha.The comments have been dreadful tbh.you always get the rude one or two the others are polite enough but young so no idea how im feeling
love to all Paula xxx

I hope all the Dads on here were able to enjoy fathers day last week end.My sis actually decided to visit after a few yrs of limited contact which made Dad very happy.I had covered for someone at work during the week and stayed late on the promise i could leave first.I had dropped dads card and prezzie off but as it will be his last i thought i could get away about 9ish.Unfortunately the other woman did a hissy fit and said we all had to stay until 1030 or i was emotionally blackmailing people !!! errm so i clocked up 23 hrs overtime for nothing but money,
Anyway Dad seems happy enough and bought paint to do a bedroom wall (i hope my brother is actually doing it).Mum told me he only has months left and end of life has been discussed with hospice nurse.
We are hoping to fit in a big family party but with 5 kids and 13 g kids we may not all be able to be off at the same time.I would phone in sick tbh just to be there.

Love to all and thank you again for all the hand holding on this journey with all its highs and lows Paula xxx

Hi Paula,

Every Fathers day in our situations are precious aren't they I am so glad that you managed to spend time with your Dad on such a special day and that your Sis was able to put aside differences and be there for your Dad. I can understand your frustration at having clocked up extra hours at work to be disappointed at the last minute but I am sure that your Dad was happy to see you at any hour. What is the saying quality time over quantity as Allison says lets hope that your Boss never has to be in your situation.

Sometimes when we are trying to cope with such a difficult situation in one part of our lives and keep all of the balls up in the air with our functioning lives it can seem almost unbearable but you are doing such a brilliant job have faith in yourself .

That big family party sounds fab can I have an invite ? I am sure Dad will love having everyone around him.

BFN

Julie X

dads been unwell and sleeping alot i collected some antibiotics for him as he appears to have an infection again.i spoke to the hospice nurse who reassured me that this is just a blip and nothing more.It is quite hard not to fear the worst when someone who is usually so full of life is so listless.I hope everyone is loving the cooler day we are having today xxx

Hugs

Allison xxxx

No more i can add other than to let you know I am thinking of you

Best wishes

Xx

Mo

Aww thank you all.I am pleased the hospice nurse thinks maybe he was referred too soon.i know UTI s are common as we get older and it is hard not to think he maybe in the last bit when he seems so down and exhausted,and as we all know aggressive cancer can spread quickly his last chemo was March.
I have applied for another job which i am sure i will get as the lack of understanding from my colleagues is dreadful only one person asked how Dad was when i was half an hr late getting his antibiotics and one of the reasons i stayed was due to Mum and Dad being ill thinking a change of job would be too much.
Such lovely people on here who understand how hard it is to watch people we love dearly deal with all the stuff a terminal cancer diagnosis throws at them.
Mum is amazing as ever which makes me wonder how she does it in the house all the time with Dad as case of having too i guess
Love and thanks to you all
Paula xxx

Thank you Lynn ive read the articles.Some people who have left reported my colleagues for their behaviour.I will remind them at our meeting too about comments.People should be more understanding ive gone in later 3 times and made up the hrs not bad bearing in mind how ill they both been the last few yrs.Better go im on a 9 am -11pm lets hope i get the job ive applied for ha ha.Mum is dads carer but she has a disabled badge due to her major op the other yr i think she cant drive now either so they do sometimes get a bit stuck good job they have 5 adult children.
Dads getting over his infection he just has little ooomph to do much bless him
love to all and many thanks xxx

I havent heard from the other job yet which is a shame as my boss keeps rotaring me for 40 hr weeks on shft pattern and my contract is 19 due to change to 30.Also someone said something quite abusive which is all i need at the moment,
Dad has been much better and has antibiotics in case he needs them now rather than have to venture out while ill or ask anyone.His birthday is in 2 weeks though i dont think he wants a fuss not knowing how he will feel.With such a large family im sure he will get visits from us all one by one plus grandkids.
i hope you are all enjoying the sun while it is shining too Paula xxx

thanks Johsan i am beginng to wonder where to start.I never envisaged being in such a dreadful place tbh(company changed hands).I have stated that Dad is quite unwell too so its not an oversight nor my fault a few people have left.I will have to speak up for myself as the guy who rotared me father passed away from prostate cancer a few yrs before so he knows exactly how hard my life isSomeone told me they use me as they know i will help anyone....not anymore :) Dad would love it if i could leave my present job.

well apparently i mustnt emotionally blackmail people to cover as one woman offered then back tracked and i had to do it!!I could just leave be bored off my wits and live off savings but i wanted to stay employed to see me through when Dad is no longer here as i love working and my husband doesnt do overtime since his heart attack.such a hard situation tbh xx

morning cookiegirl.

its a tough time for you cannot imagine what goes off in your head, the only decisions are always the correct ones, still got my fingers crossed you can get things sorted out to suit everyone

nidge

I am so sorry I have not replied sooner, there is litte I can say to help about your employer who really is taking horrendous advantage of you, especially if he has recently been through this. Not someone I think I would like. I just hope you can resolve the issues there or find a better job with a more considerate employer when the time seems right.

Your Dad will be going through a lot just now, not just physically from the cancer but also mentally. I was totally unprepared for the mental anguish Mick had built up over a period of time and had bottled up inside. Mainly because he was afraid of upsetting me or Karen by sharing all of it with either or both of us. He was always quite open about things so I thought he had always told me everything. He did find talking with the pastoral care Lady at the hospice a big help. In fact that is what enabled him to eventually talk with me about all his worries and concerns so we could figure out how they could be addressed.

It was shortly after that we had our big long chat with the Palliative care consultant (as mentioned in my thread about the elephants). Prior to all of this he was also really weary and tired, any emotional distress is tiring but when compounded by the physical strees of cancer it can be overwhelming.

Maybe your GP will suggest things that might help mentally as well as medically.

My very best wishes to you and your family

xx

Mo

Dads on antibiotics and has a chest xray tomorrow to rule anything out on his cough xx

Dads had a blood test too and still feels exhausted.
I managed to facebook my cousin who told his Dad so my uncle and wife popped in theirs today.I made some lovely sandwiches and tea and cake and they had a lovely catch up.They had been meaning to visit but didnt know what to say ! Dad and his brother were talking about childhood hols.Next week his sister is coming over to see him for the first time in many months as he hasnt felt up to company or fuss.lovely to see them all i only wish it wasnt in these circumstances. xxx

Paula,
my heart goes out to you for what you are having to cope with, lets hope you hear soon about that new job, that should save some of the nastiness.

God Bless.

Chris.

"Allowed time when he goes"??????? Allowed !!

It is called compassionate leave and I'm sure must be written into your company rule book.
I'm sure when it's immediate family it is a right not a concession, I'd like to think so any way.

Thank goodness your GP sees your need.

I'm very sure that with a great supportive daughter who cares enough to say "I love my dad" your dad must be a lovely chap.

Concentrate now on the time left with your dad. Forget the morons at work

Edited by member 17 Jul 2015 at 13:22  | Reason: Not specified

I just wanted to send my love and best wishes at this difficult time.

I'm saddened everyday hearing about people's actions that don't seem have an ounce of compassion for others but then I realise there are far more good and kind people than those.

Steve x

He must be careful not to over do it on the basis of how much better he feels.

Hope you all have a good weekend anyway, perhaps building memories

Would your mum be strong enough to push his chair?

I know other members could but if he is reluctant to go in a chair perhaps it could be hinted that it might be nice for your mum to also get a bit of exercise and fresh air.

Hospice nurse came and discussed Dads end of life wishes as he want to die at home (assuming mums cancer isnt back then and she can manage.He sorted out the DNR stuff and a "just incase box" of emergency meds is being dropped off Dad said for the coming months.He seems good today but admits he wont be going far from home now.Infection has gone for now so we just wait and see.One day at a time and all that love to all Paula xx

All our very best wishes and love to you all. Have been thinking of you all x

Chris and Elaine

hi paula

just let you u know you are doing great by your family

nidge

your employers suck big time.

You will be surprised how much your Dad can withstand knowing that his little grandchildren will be there to see him at the weekend. I hope you can all make it a special day for him once again.

xx

Mo