Today is the First Day of the Rest of my Life

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 04:51

Hi Steve, sounds like things are not getting any easier for you at the moment, I can only imagine how this makes you feel.

Please keep your spirits up, you are so important to so many people both at home and on this forum, everyone is rooting for you and are looking forward to you being back working again, it's clearly just gonna take some time.

Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 07:06

If your body is telling you you need sleep, then sleep. Hope all goes well with the stopping of the beta blockers. Have a good weekend.

dave

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 08:52

Sleep is supposed to be a great healer Steve so go with it.

I think you should change your name to Job!! You've had as many trials and tribulations as he did/

Rest up young man. Don't challenge your body because you think it should be doing something else.

I know how disappointed you must have been to have missed the visit but it was the wisest choice, not just for you but your daughters and baby too.

Keep warm and snug and rest.

All the best
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 09:10

It turned out right for Job in the end and he had twice as much more than he started with! That's good things not bad! The latter part of his life was better that the first part. Hoping this for you Steve.

Arthur

Edited by member 27 Feb 2015 at 09:12 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 09:37

Steve

I got your PM and have just replied.

There are so many bugs doing the rounds at the moment, when you are already ill your immune system is in overload and so you become prone to everything.

Stopping the beta blockers sounds sensible if your heart rate is so low you probably should not be taking them.

I agree with the advice already given, sleep when you want to it is the 2nd best healer after loads of kisses,hugs and cuddles no matter how they come in real person from your Wife and family or virtually from us.

I am not a religious person but I do remember from school RE that Job had a tough time, as an aside and one to prod the memories of local knowledge, I spent my very early childhood in Didcot Berks and our local dairy was called Jobs Dairy. If I remember well (and this was over 50 years ago)they had a huge milk bottle which to a 4 year old seemed like 100 feet tall outside the gate to the yard, you could see it for miles as you came into Didcot from the A34 area.

xxx

Edited by member 27 Feb 2015 at 09:38 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 12:28

Hi,

Coming off Beta blockers can make you feel very rough. Surprised you were not told to reduce dose gradually. Hope you feel better today and its just manflu.!

ATB,El.

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 13:42

Sleep and rest are vital to your recovery. I'm sure there is lots of family support. Not easy, but keep positive for the future. Believing there will be a light at the end of the tunnel will help you reach that daylight more quickly.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 27 Feb 2015 at 15:07

Hi Mo

Ref Jobs dairy my wife and I both worked for the company that made bottles for them. They had a dairy at Hanworth that had a huge cow (not real!!) on the roof. My wife went there on a school trip and had to write about the life of a milk bottle.

Arthur

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 15:17

Hi,

Thanks for your messages everyone.

Really feeling sorry for myself today, not for health reasons but because my beloved football team (Nottingham Forest) are playing Reading only a few miles away from my house.

I can't go, partly because of my cold but mainly because my money has run out.

To be honest, even if I had some dosh left over, I couldn't justify spending that on watching a football match. I've decided there should be a special benefit you could claim for special occasions like this, to raise the spirits of those who are facing potentially life threatening diseases!

At times like this, I always smile when I think of the famous Bill Shankley quote "Football's not a matter of Life or Death... It's more important than that".

Just hope we win.

Steve

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 17:33

Hi Steve great result today hope that's made you feel better! Arthur

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 18:20

Hi,

I don't ever get chance to relax.

I was just celebrating Forest winning this afternoon when my sister rang me to tell me my mum has just been admitted into Bath hospital with breathing difficulties. She's in her mid 80's and hasn't been well recently. I'm really worried.

I'm going to visit her tomorrow but typical of the way my luck goes, the Bath Half Marathon takes place tomorrow so I'll have a nightmare journey to reach the hospital as there are a lot of road closures.

When is it going to end.

Steve

Edited by member 01 Mar 2015 at 00:39 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 19:28

Steve

Firstly I do hope your mother is OK and gets the treatment she needs.

I don't wish to be hard here, but for your own health and well being, is it totally necessary you go? Can you wait till Monday, or even later tomorrow to arrive for evening visiting?

You must look after yourself first. Try not to worry. It isn't going to change anything. If you do go, is there someone to drive you? Can you get the train?

Please try and keep your stress levels down for your own sake!

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 22:22

Hi Paul,

I have to go tomorrow because it's the only day I have free until later in the week.

I have someone coming to try and sort out my central heating on Monday (I've had no heating for months). On Tuesday, I have cardiac rehab and an echocardiogram appointment at hospital. On Wednesday I have an important meeting with a client who I hope will give me work when I am fit enough to work.. So three days that are difficult to re-arrange.

I need to do this.

Steve

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 23:23

Steve

I thoroughly understand. Just make sure you take care of #1!!!

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 28 Feb 2015 at 23:34

Thanks Paul,

Steve

User

Posted 01 Mar 2015 at 15:39

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Hi Paul,

I have to go tomorrow because it's the only day I have free until later in the week.

I need to do this.

Steve

What is wrong with the heating Steve?

dave

User

Posted 01 Mar 2015 at 20:07

Hi Dave,

I'll private message you.

Steve

User

Posted 01 Mar 2015 at 22:58

Hi,

Difficult day. I managed to drive to Bath today to see my mum in hospital after my sister had rang me with the news last night.

I couldn't believe how she was. I saw her three weeks ago and couldn't believe it was the same person I saw today. I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting this. I'm praying she will pull through but she looks so ill. Why now?

Steve

User

Posted 01 Mar 2015 at 23:12

Steve

Glad you're back home safe and sound. I have never gone along with the theory that things happen for a reason, but there are times in our lives when everything is hunky dory, and times when you wonder what it's all about.

Your experiences in the last 9 months have virtually all been negative, and you'll be constantly wondering why. It's just the most unfortunate timing that so much negative has happened without anything to raise the spirits. I hope your mother pulls through, but whatever transpires, you must believe there will be a rainbow in the future to brighten your spirits.

How long that rainbow will take to show itself is the big unknown, but please believe there will be good experiences to be had, life is worth living, and there'll be things to smile and laugh about.

As I said yesterday, priority number one has to be to look after yourself.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 02 Mar 2015 at 10:38

Thanks Paul,

The rainbow can't arrive soon enough for me.

Steve

User

Posted 06 Mar 2015 at 12:45

Hi,

Sorry if my absence from the site has caused any concern. I don't really feel if I can post just at the moment. Things just get too much sometimes.

Steve

User

Posted 06 Mar 2015 at 16:21

Keep believing, Steve. Things must get better. Id'd like to give you a man hug, but hope a virtual one will suffice!

Paul

Edited by member 06 Mar 2015 at 16:22 | Reason: Not specified

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 06 Mar 2015 at 17:02

Hi Steve, sorry you are in a dark place, just remember there are loads of people here who really care about you, look forward to seeing you back to your old self again soon. If I can help you in any way pm me. Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User

Posted 06 Mar 2015 at 17:05

Hi Steve,

Sorry I cannot help with the heating issue, need to be Gas Safe registered these days.

Has anyone else been using your account or sign in details here these last few days? I know you have not posted a lot recently, but the site membership list shows that your log in and name etc has been logged on here every day. If this was not you, it may be worth reporting this to the admin team?

Hope things improve for you sooner rather than later. At least it is getting warmer now, thank goodness, spring may have finally sprung?

atb

dave

User

Posted 06 Mar 2015 at 17:45

Hello Steve.
http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gifHugshttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

Edited by member 06 Mar 2015 at 17:46 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 11 Mar 2015 at 18:59

Happy Birthday. Hope that at your 70s you will write another post, and at you 90s =) Good Luck

User

Posted 12 Mar 2015 at 20:27

Hi,

Really sorry for not posting much recently, it's been a difficult time for me. I didn't feel as if I could post, even though I was visiting the site each day to make sure everyone was ok.

Earlier today, I re-read my "How Lucky We Are" thread, because there had been a couple of new messages and I realised that I was ignoring my own and others advice. If ever I needed support, it's now.

I don't feel as if I've ever felt so low as I have in the last two weeks. I'm just so fed up with everything going wrong in my life, there never seems to be any "light at the end of the tunnel". I just want something nice to happen for a change. I think I've had my share of bad luck. My mum's illness is the final straw.

I seem to be too tired to do anything and I don't care, I would rather sleep. I mean to do things each day but then don't, I'm wasting so much time which I'm sure I'll regret one day. It's causing tension at home, love and support which I've enjoyed since cancer diagnosis seems to be draining away now, perhaps I've been at home too long. I will probably go back to work at the end of the month if my heart is fixed or not. The money has run out now and it's impossible to survive on £113.70 per week when the phone is ringing all the time demanding money. It's causing so much stress (which I'm supposed to avoid). Sometimes I just want everything to end. Selling the house may be the only solution but I would feel even more of a failure if I did that because I wouldn't be able to buy another. I've fought so hard to try and survive the recession.

I think that's all I can post, I don't think the words are flowing as they normally do, just the reason I wasn't posting before.

Steve

Edited by member 12 Mar 2015 at 20:30 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 12 Mar 2015 at 22:37

OH Steve,

I have seen you logged on and also noted that you hadn't posted and I had thought that you must be very low and your post has confirmed my thoughts.

I hope you don't mind me saying but I think you are very depressed and need to see your GP about this, you have been through such a lot and with each blow it knocks you down further , we all need a helping hand back up the ladder and it is now time to ask for that help from your GP. Tiredness and a feeling of not being able to cope are classic signs.

Your wife has also been going through this and sometimes things can get so emotional that we don't or can't give each other the support that is needed , we can all help you on the forum but sometimes extra medical help is needed. I have been there and lost our home Steve and also faced huge hardship financially and emotionally and most importantly with Trevor's health , the main thing is that you know seek the help that you need . Life will get better because when you hit rock bottom the only way is up.

Go see your Dr and open up to him or her, you need that extra bit of help.

Thinking of you.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 12 Mar 2015 at 22:53

Steve

I am sure many of us are wondering just what to say, and in all honesty, there seems very little when you have arrived at such a low ebb. You find yourself not fit for work, needing cash, and the stress is causing relationship difficulties at the time when you least need them.

Please seek all the local help you can. GP, Citizen's Advice, extended family etc. (I am sure Steve would be grateful for other suggestions.) Pour out everything to them with your wife. Do not hold back, because being ill should not bring about such hardship. There must be solutions that can begin to help with your worries.

Do not give in. Stay strong. Get plenty of rest, but use the energy you have left positively.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 12 Mar 2015 at 23:08

Sorry to read this Steve,

I can only echo what has been said about seeing your GP asap. The symptoms and behaviour you are describing as going through are typical of, and can be an indicator of depression.

As for your fiancées, have you considered speaking with someone at your local CAB about getting help in sorting out your finances with regard to arranging repayment holidays or reducing some or all payments for a while?

GP has to be your first consideration.

atb

dave

User

Posted 12 Mar 2015 at 23:14

Steve sadly you have found yourself in a very bad place. This is understandable with all you have been through. However, you recognise that missing hours and days may be regretted in better times. Julie and others here have summed it all up I think and given sound suggestions. The point appears to have come to bare all to your doctor and ask and if needed demand help regarding your protracted low mood. Hopefully this can also involve your wife. Depression is a devastating condition and is hard for loved ones to understand . I suffered from Depression when my children were growing up and I am sad that I missed some of the joy of their childhood. Having this history I have also been quite down at times of my OH's journey with Pca. I truly believe that if you get this condition treated appropriately you may bounce back to the positive bloke that is the real you.. Cheers Georgina from Oz.

Edited by member 12 Mar 2015 at 23:17 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 12 Mar 2015 at 23:38

Just a few extra thoughts Steve, I don't know if you have debts but these all add to worries and extra pressure which you don't need at the moment.

Debt management have down loadable forms that you can print you then fill these in and offer £1.00 per month to anyone that you owe monies to and they have to accept this, so there is help out there. I know that you are not feeling well enough to organise this but as Dave has suggested the CAB can organise this for you.

Hope this helps

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 06:54

Hi Steve, like others, I am sorry that you are somewhere where we all could be at some stage. I have no experience of what doctors can do but have worked in the finance industry all my life and all that has taught me is absolute honesty normally brings out the reasonableness in people. By absolute I mean everything, some people may not care but the human side in most does come out normally. I like everyone else on this forum really care Steve so don't give up. Kev.

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 07:41

In life many events happen which are out of our control, you are 60+ years old I believe, you must have made many good decisions to get to where your are now, provided for your family built a home etc,

your not being singled out by some unforseen power at work ,this difficult period will pass in time, consider confiding in your family members as they know you best ,they care and love you, if thats possible and if you can return to work maybe thats what you need to do sooner rather than later,

being at home with an illness no income , seeing your savings ebbing away, is a soul distroying experience, not many people really know whats its like,all what you worked for is now being taken away

Being self employed is no fun when work stops, its a painful experience, I know this from personal experience, the passed 4 years I lost my businees, my income, and my savings, because of Illness, I'm not blaming anyone ,I got no state benefit apart from state pension,

my wife works part time, we get by, my salvation has been my family and friends.

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 08:54

Hello Steve.

I've said it all in a personal message but young man your box if FULL and cannot accept anymore messages.

Obviously you have struck a cord with all of us and it shows from the messages above

Get reading Steve, we need you to know how we all care. XX

Best Wishes to you and your wife

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 09:19

Steve, I can only agree with what everyone else has said but would it be possible to sit down with your wife, take stock, list all the suggestions above and work through them one at a time in order of importance. Once you start ticking things off you will feel better, seeing what you've done and achieved.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Arthur

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 09:56

If your inbox is full, can not contact you there.

Any progress on the heating problem?

Regarding debts or payment agreements due to companies, it is in their interest to reach an arrangement with you to enable you to keep afloat and maintain payments even if at a reduced rate for a time.

You mentioned some time ago that your support and interest from your OH was, changeable. You are both dealing with a lot, she had her health scare. Has SHE seen anyone for support, her GP for example? Don't be slow talking to family about the issues you are facing? There may be help available in the family that you are not aware of and that family may not know you are in need of?

If you are both under all sorts of pressures you may not be able to manage just trying to support each other without additional external support of some kind?

Just a thought considering what you have posted awhile ago and recently.

dave

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 12:31

Steve, you sound so low, we are all worried about you.

You need to speak to someone who can help.

Have you thought of contacting the Samaritans? I have no experience of them but they will have known many others feeling as you do...and could suggest some help.

Please try them.

Alison x

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 13:24

Hi Steve, have no words of wisdom but cannot pass by your thread with no comment. You have many wonderful friends on this site who care very much about you and I agree with all the advice given.

You sound a truly wonderful guy, sending you Positive thoughts and hope that your visit to your gp will help.

Take care Steve.

Lesley x

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 14:13

Hi Steve,

I don't always respond to your posts mainly because your treatment path and health issues are very different to mine and I am unable to offer any advice...

I do however read all your posts and I can see and understand just what a difficult time you are going through at the moment.

I can't add to the advice already given, but just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts, and I sincerely hope that you and your wife can get the help you both so very much deserve and need..

Best Wishes

Luther

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 17:19

Awww Steve

I think you know we all love you here, we know you've been to hell and back and it's taken its toll on you and yours. Great advice given, can I also suggest MacMillan for financial advice -they may be able to help too.

I don't know if you have done any military service but if you have then SAAFA could help or one of the service benevolent funds. It's so unfair that your life can be ripped apart by an illness like this. I wish I could help and I know everyone here is the same.

Steve, one of my friends did sell their house when her hubby got Pca, they then got a council bungalow and are pretty blooming happy to be honest. They have got cash in the bank and a nice place to call home. I wish I knew what they did to get this and can ask them if it would be of interest.

I hope you can feel this huge wave of love and concern washing over you.

Love and hugs

Allison

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 20:25

Selling the house maybe should be not necessary even to consider yet?

"Creative" borrowing, working the financial system, could provide a solution to any problems in the short to medium term, which may resolve the issues being faced?

Accepting that the principle can not borrow, it may be possible for associates of the principal to borrow on existing CC and then take out new CC on a zero % transfer basis, pay off the minimum each month. May help?

But, the point being made by Devonmaid about owning a house not necessarily being the "be all and end all" is a point well made.

dave

Edited by member 13 Mar 2015 at 20:42 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 13 Mar 2015 at 21:34

Hi Steve

Sorry to hear you have been going through a hard time at the moment.

Our forum friends have offered some good advice. Just wanted you to know you are also in my thoughts.

Please don't give up Steve. Things may be hard at the moment but you will get through this.

Sending you my best wishes.

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 01:30

Tiny steps, one at a time.

Go and see the GP as soon as you can - take a print out of this thread or write down how you have been feeling and give it to him or her.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 13:12

Just been taken to A&E by ambulance. Can't do anymore.

Steve

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 14:17

Who knows more about Steve? Real name? Address or mobile number? Wife's name? Facebook account? Anything that can help us find out what has happened and how he is?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 14:18

Obviously not that any of these details should be posted openly on here though :-(

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 16:05

Thanks for replies via PM - I have left a message on Steve's home number and will let people know if I hear anything. I do hope that he is okay and I imagine that his family were very aware of how low he was feeling - perhaps the stress combined with reducing his medication caused his heart rate to dip too low again.

Thinking of you Steve x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 16:31

Don't worry, admitted with chest pains. Post again when I can.

Steve

User

Posted 14 Mar 2015 at 16:59

Pray you get the rest and care, physically and emotionally, you need.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

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