Dear Highland Lass,
I’ve been sharing elements of your torrid experience with my wife of nearly 28 happy years, and we both just felt so sad. It’s both painful and comforting to find people around our age who are on a very similar path isn’t it. The exchange of facts, treatment choices and effects are valuable but also the emotional and personal aspects are meaningful perhaps now more than ever. It’s a huge shame the Abi treatment didn’t last longer than one great year.
The first week following diagnosis was desperately hard for everyone. My darling wife, Samantha, breaks down in tears occasionally but is trying to focus on keeping busy. I work mostly from home and Samantha is a stay at home mum, so we’ve been blessed with time.
I’m trying to be productive but finding it hard to concentrate. The worry, uncertainty and fear is ever present. Our new reality is brutal because it has been labeled incurable and the average prognosis is awfully short. Once a clock is introduced, everything changes. I haven’t, I don’t think, internalised fully what’s happening emotionally yet. Intellectually I’m beginning to understand the science but I’m probably too shellshocked to realise this is actually happening to me. With no symptoms whatsoever it’s difficult to conceive I’m seriously, even gravely sick. Worryingly, I haven’t shed a tear, I’m focusing on how my wife, children, extended family and even friends are coping. I realise that’s not healthy.
Our journey with advanced PC in less than a month old but already we’re adjusting and learning. I keep saying we’re in a better place than many (which I genuinely believe) but I also grieve deeply for what we will lose. If I am hurt and angry about anything it’s the comparatively young age that I and your OH have been diagnosed with a terminal and very unkind disease. It’s a shocker.
Please do keep your bio updated etc. There are plenty of good people in this forum who will want to support and be with you both. Let’s hope and pray the latest treatment is working and will keep doing its job for a long time to come. A clinical trial would be great too!
Please pass on our thoughts and best wishes to your husband.
Remember, you’re fulfilling a wonderful and life-defining role in the most heartbreaking of personal circumstances. I’m so grateful for my family and I know you too will be so cherished.
Take care x