diagnosed

Hello Andrea,

Sorry you join us because your partner has been diagnosed with PCa.

It sometimes happens that men find it difficult to accept the diagnosis and perhaps set it aside. It is quite often the partner or offspring who want to look realistically at the diagnosis and learn what is the best way forward. For some men with early diagnosis this may be just mean being monitored. For others beyond this stage, treatment of one sort or another might be considered as being more appropriate.

It would be useful to learn details of the diagnosis as regards PSA, Gleason score and staging and if possible how many cores were taken at biopsy and the percentage of cancer in each core. What did the consultant say about your partner's diagnosis and what were his/her opinions on treatment possibilities?

It would be helpful if you could obtain and post more information and it is a good idea if you or somebody close to him accompanies your partner to consultations because it is easy to miss something that can be significant.

Meanwhile, a good start in learning more about PCa is to obtain the 'Toolkit' which is available by going to the main part of this site.

Edited by member 24 Oct 2015 at 22:47  | Reason: Not specified

Hi Andrea,

What you now say puts a rather different slant on things. If your partner has decided on his treatment and this has been planned for Dec/Jan, perhaps he doesn't wish to be reminded about it/discuss it - his way of dealing with it - which for some could be the best way for them. Having said that, a man about to have a prostatectomy should be well prepared for this. Kegel pelvic exercises and being as fit as possible can help but he (and you) have to be prepared for the potential side effects of the operation, incontinence and erectile dysfunction to varying degrees and from anything from short term to permanent. Follow up monitoring will be required and if the surgery doesn't do the job there may be a need for further treatment, usually radiotherapy, sometimes with hormone therapy.

Hope the surgery goes well and is successful.

Hello Andrea and welcome from me too, wife to another of our PCa men.

Some of our men can only cope (certainly initially) by not thinking about it all too much. Worry about it when it (treatment) happens, but as the others have said it's best to be prepared and to know the possible side effects etc.

If he has already made up his mind (or had it made up for him by the advice of the consultant) then there is little that you or anyone else on here can say that would make him change it.

All you can do is be there for him. If you ask for the toolkit get the hard copies sent to you and leave them where they can be seen. It's possible that even though he doesn't want to discuss it all he may perhaps pick up the Toolkit and flick through it when you aren't there.

The toolkit itself is really useful in giving you, not only information, but also the basis of questions to ask next time he(and you) go to see the consultant.

You know where we are now so if it all gets a bit too much come and have a chat (or a rant - some of us do that and feel better for it !!)

Best Wishes
Sandra